warning: some language in this one…
i did not speak of the doctor experience from yesterday. one of those docs who have the “god complex” – denouncing naturopath’s and anyone who challenges the notion that many pharmaceutical’s are harmful and deadly – even though it was a NATUROPATH who finally diagnosed my mate with lyme after numerous “medical doctor’s” failed to do so instead saying “we don’t know whatcha got.
nope. people like myself and my mate – we’re just “conspiracy theorists”.
a new diagnosis came with the appointment. 15 years ago a surgery my mate had at the time only lasts 3-5 years. WE WERE NOT TOLD THIS. we were informed the procedure created a new, permanent valve for the stomach. now the original condition has returned and is severe – likely having increased over the years. my mate’s been speaking of the symptoms for years but not one doctor until yesterday said “that surgery is only a temporary fix”.
doctor’s can do what they want. say what they want – usually without impunity. they aren’t out to heal or cure. they’re nothing but drug pushers and whores for the pharma and big medical cartel. i’m tired of hearing how they do their best. nonsense. when they refuse to be open to NEW avenues for healing, they are part of the problem and need to be called out on it.
this doc yesterday poked and prodded my mate in the lower left quadrant – an area that has been chronically tender for years. doc knows this. he doesn’t know “why” he’s tender – the scans don’t show anything. but still – knowing my mate is very tender there – he had to poke away again in spite of not knowing the cause. obvious question: what was the purpose?
i wasn’t there for the appointment or else i would have had some things to say. it is extremely anxiety-producing for me to go to the appts anymore and to be in front of such ego’s and incompetence. they usually do not take to questioning/challenging of their opinion. looks like i need to find a way to deal with that. how?
i don’t know.
so the underlying tension is here in the house. not angry with one another – but just at the system in general who has been harmful and toxic to my mate and myself. oh and did i mention the electric and water bills have jumped? it is challenging to remain neutral and calm when the hits keep coming.
this is my life. and i am commanding to see and experience the life I want. for me. for my family. the rest of the world can go on spinning in their personal bubbles of illusion and the new age communities can say we’re all in this together – all having to “ascend” awaken “before”. go have at it. i am quite finished with this entire b movie. with the lies. with the hidden truths and the repressed cures. for me it is truth and love and support only. and i command that be my experience. if you align, consider calling that experience forth as well for yourself. if this is a simulation – we should be able to create that. now.
gonna go do some more purging in an attempt to find my Heart again.
grumpy love,
victoria
