Today’s Reflections ~ The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

 

Now is the time ~ of all time’s ~ at least for me ~ where telling the truth and nothing but is imperative.  The energy of those repressed words is demanding to be released.  I noticed that switch yesterday when I was asked my opinion about another.  My social mask voice said to be positive, be kind, etc. etc.  But real me kicked in, stopped my programmed speak and said “No, I don’t like that person.  I do not resonate with them.”

I think many of us get confused that as we transition and bring forth more love within us, we believe (baaaaad word) we should (another baaaaaaaaad word) also fall in love with everyone around us.

Not gonna happen.  There will be some people for whom we just don’t vibe. And that’s ok.  Perhaps the truth can be found in knowing the difference in being in love with all and holding love for all.  ???  I have had several such moments where I have felt love for all ~ and it was amazing.  However I also know that while I am still here in zombie world, others can and will take advantage of that state.  It’s too scary to be around for it is foreign in this realm.  And until ALL are in the same state, it is an experience to share with a whole lot of discernment and nothing to be given blindly.  Those rose colored glasses need to have the right prescription strength.  Until one is strong enough to be able to handle any potential blow-backs.  And I am not yet there.

I had a dream last night ~ a reoccurring theme.  It lasted for quite some time.  Throughout there was someone I wanted to talk with ~ and they tried talking with me.  However I had this gum-like substance that began coming out of my mouth ~ this time it was attached to my tongue.  It’s so gross ~ but I have had the experience before and I KNOW it represents repressed emotions and words.  Frustration.

That is what I feel now.  Frustration.  Frustrated.

I LOOOONG for connection ~ real connection.  No more of this fake social crap I engage in on a daily damn basis with the people around me.  The parents of other kids.  And wow have the kids been just showing up at this house for days on end now.  Just showing up.  Public school kids, vaccinated, bringing with them their drama and system allowed behaviors and just simply behavior I don’t want around my child.  I speak out about it.  I stop it when I see it.  I talk with my girl about it.  Endlessly it seems now.

It’s like knowing what you desire ~ dark chocolate cake ~ but being handed a rusty nail instead.

Well I am tossing back that damn rusty nail.  I know what I deserve.  I know what my girl deserves.  My girl deserves friends who are thoughtful. Whose parents are awakening and who are highly conscious.

Being one of the awakened ones – young or old – just fucking SUCKS here. When you are such a Being, sensitive to all that is 3D low vibe ~ when you speak about this you get the rolled eyes, the name calling, the dismissal, the “oh you’re one of THOSE types”.   Even finding a real connection in the whole ascension community has been difficult because some are so far up in the clouds in la la land they refuse to see real pain and suffering.  It’s as though their little castle of illusion is so sparkly clean and shiny, if you bring along any emotional energy that isn’t high vibe, they fear their own castle may tarnish.  And I get that.  I really do.  But it isn’t helpful to be in denial.

We want the TRUTH.  Now.  The full truth and nothing but the truth.

That is what the energies are calling forth now.  For every one of us.

And my truth, aside from what I have shared above is this:

I want the new realm.  I NEED it.  NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED.  Yes, I am saying that for anyone who thinks I “should” let go of the word.  But it is there.  A longing.  Deep within.  I am fucking tired of feeling stuck.  I focus on daily what I want.  What I desire.  D A I L Y.  In the morning.  In the evening.

My tribe.

Healing assistance.

The right educational experience for my child.

I KNOW this exists.  I see it.  I feel it.  I call it forth every stinking day.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I. AM. DONE. WITH. GROUNDHOG DAY.

How many times do I have to say that?  How many times do I have to put my hand up and claim “NO” to that which doesn’t resonate??

WHEN are those things in which I call forth going to manifest??

Do we really all have to “wait” for this event energy?

For the escape pod to be launched and opened?

Am I waiting for NOTHING here?  Are we??

I want to know!

I want the god damn truth!

Come on Source.

Come on Divine.

Come on Higher Self.

SHOW ME THE TRUTH.

Deep breath, deep breath I hear.  Let go.  Let go of any story that dictates control and of how things should be.

Ooooh, that is my struggle.  When to DO (control) and when to BE (allow). Why not both?  Is the higher frequency really about just allowing??

I feel as though I am falling apart.  Coming undone.  Unraveling.  I don’t know who to Be.  What to think.  I don’t know who I am becoming.  Which way is up, which way is down.  Feeling my truth deep within my heart ~ is that good enough?  How do I share my truth?  How much do I put into what I have right now and how much do I put into what I really desire and what I have seen for so many years?  It’s a real challenge sometimes ~ when you have seen a new realm, seen yourself there, seen your family there, met others who have seen the same damn realm ~ and to still.  be.  here.

Argh……….

With as much love and gratitude I can muster~

Victoria

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