lol
i landed in a funk earlier. i got triggered. i saw some article about a recent decision of the White House. the title was for those in suburbia not having to worry about declining property values due to low income housing.
that is such a horrible thing to say to another. you can’t move here with your poverty life style because i can’t have my property values decline. elite privilege. i have money. you don’t. eliticism disease.
that’s why we have homeless people living in tents along the river. no one wants them in their neighborhood. most of them are white (in my area) – half are middle age and older. having lived in various neighborhoods, the more “wealthier” of them is not an indicator in decency. disrespectful folks and lousy neighbors aren’t income dependent.
why aren’t we talking about the ridiculous cost of housing and the NEED for a new experience that allows ALL to own their own home and land. not just for those who have been able to “make it”.
this entire economic system creates so much damn suffering. it brings up my own stories and my own pain. and i most indeed get triggered when i am asked what “I” am doing to block my own abundance. that is not a good thing to say to me these days. it isn’t helpful or kind and is matrix victim shaming.
i was reflecting on the protesters – those engaged in peaceful protests and those not. they ALL want a new way of being and doing and living. in a way i admire them. they are actually taking action to create change. they are DOING something. they aren’t sitting back and allowing this alleged “movie/game” to unfold. i may not align with their approach – but hey i give them credit in actually getting out there and doing.
today i felt i hit an end point. i took down our flag. i removed my #MAGA painted rock. took down the “Q” creation my mate and i made. i listened to some music – then suddenly wanted to listen to christmas tunes. that was easy – music soundscape channel had on “christmas in july” tunes. classic tunes. charlie brown christmas and others. i also listened to some 1950’s tunes. a simpler time. the energy of that time always appealed to me.
next i wanted to watch a movie. the dvd player on my laptop doesn’t play movies now. nor music cd’s. my mate is occupied with the tv. and i sit here – feeling overwhelmed – wanting some peace – wanting some love – and just wanting to watch a movie to take my mind off of this insanity. i need to invest in a portable dvd player – an ongoing desire.
i appreciate what i have. i make note energetically of that daily.
but oh – oh how well i would adapt to having the kind of financial abundance where dropping $50 on a luxury item didn’t break my bank.
today is one of those days where i feel i have wasted my time and focus on awakening – on “bucking” the system and doing things my way. these hours and years of searching and sharing on personal sites and blogs feels like rather a waste. of course i must remember i ended up going down that journey when the professional world told me “no” repeatedly. but still….i reflect and wonder what if….what if i had walked away from the nudges and the flow that was guiding me and instead dismissed all of that and just sold out a little more than i have.
or what if i had decided to keep myself open to channeling or giving readings to people and charging $250 per session. or if i had decided to charge people to read my words or listen to my music instead of offering it up for free and asking now and then for a few dollars.
i have royally sucked at marketing myself and have terribly under-valued my worth and gifts.
something has to give in my experience.
for now i just want a dang portable dvd player.
at least living the meager life i have has made me really appreciative of such things.
i did want to make a note on the schumann – that bubble that began earlier today (14 hours ago or s0) – which felt quite nice for awhile then the feeling left. it hadn’t updated since noon – i checked throughout the day – the last time around 9pm PST. it is now 11:30pm and it is now up-to-date. but… 2 hours ago (when my mood went into south fast) we had yet another black line. i felt severe agitation that has remained.
wtaf is going on here?
i have never seen these frequencies or patterns either- those start around 7.
is it the war – the spiritual battle and physical battle showing up more than ever before now?
some TRUTH is needed. NOW.
gggrrrrr.
love,
victoria
