WHY ANGER IS VERY “SPIRITUAL”
Spiritual teachings that tell us to extinguish our anger, that call anger a ‘negative’ emotion, or ‘unhealthy’ or even ‘unspiritual’, can be very dangerous teachings indeed.
Anger is life, a powerful expression of the vital life force that infuses and flows through and animates all things, and must be honoured as such.
Of course, we don’t want to be ruled by our anger! We don’t want anger to speak for us, put words in our mouths or control our bodies and behaviours. We want to have space around our anger, be able to use it consciously, as a tool, when necessary and appropriate. We don’t want to be consumed by it, identified with it, blocked by it, or lose ourselves to it. We want a healthy – and even loving – relationship with this most powerful of friends.
When we try to be ‘spiritual’ and suppress our anger, when we push it deep down into our bodies and into the underworld of the unconscious, it festers there and wreaks havoc with our immune systems and our sense of wholeness. We no longer ‘have’ anger. Anger is no longer a feeling that comes and goes. Anger ‘has’ us. We are angry beings now; anger is in our bones, we are identified with it. And we find ourselves exploding occasionally in uncontrollable rage, because the energy of anger needs to move and have an outlet or we will die of the poison of unexpressed emotion.
Or perhaps we become passive-aggressive, simmering with resentment and hostility towards the world and others – the neighbours, politicians, family members, our partners. We find other unconscious ways to express or deflect from the anger: lying, blaming, sarcasm, complaining, or simply giving others ‘the silent treatment’. All ways to avoid ourselves. We are still angry inside. Even if we think we are “spiritual” and “beyond anger”. There are stories of the most “peaceful” and “enlightened” and “anger-free” gurus and self-help teachers exploding with rage behind the scenes with students and staff members. The anger never really goes away, you see, it just finds new and creative ways to move.
There is a healthy, sacred middle between numbing our anger on one hand, and habitually acting it out and attacking others on the other hand.
In the middle, we breathe, and we FEEL our anger deep in our bodies. We come out of our minds – out of the drama in the head, the blame and the attack – and go to our own bellies, chests, throats, solar plexus, head. Go right to the core of the aliveness, to the raw sensations of the present moment. The intense, pulsating, throbbing, shuddering, fluttering, tickly, hot, fizzing sensations! And we breathe into them, bring our warm presence there, let them move in us, bless the mess of our bodies.
We drench ‘the angry one’ inside with the love he or she so desperately needs.
And from a place of presence, we can actually own our anger instead of projecting it all over the place, instead of blaming, shaming and attacking others. We can say “Yes, I feel angry!”, honour the vibrant feeling that moves in us, see it as natural, healthy, holy – not a mistake or a failure of ours, or a sign that we are ‘unevolved’ or ‘unspiritual’.
And underneath the anger, we may simply find a vulnerable, fragile human heart. A sadness. A disappointment. An uncertainty. A tenderness that longs to be seen, embraced, welcomed.
Anger was the protection. Not a mistake, but a protection.
And we can thank anger for serving its purpose. For trying to keep us safe. For guarding the soft fleshy sensitive frightened heart. For trying to help us get our needs met. For trying to get others to listen.
Undeneath the adult persona, see: an innocent child, calling, “Hear me. See me. Love me. Protect me. I am not a mistake…”
Follow the roar of anger to its spiritual source.
Fall in love with your great Protector.
– Jeff Foster
Sourced from here.
